I have had a couple intense weeks since posting here. The session load has grown, so I guess I'm not really in the orientation period anymore. My supervisor's husband has been sick, so she had to take a couple days off last week to take care of her son. I missed her, because she is pretty cool, but I got an amazing opportunity those two days to be completely independent. I did an assessment all by myself, co-treated with Physical Therapy all by myself, and led a few other sessions and parent interactions all by myself. I learned a lot during that time.
The first is that I should be a lot more confident every day. The week before this last week I felt like I was behind because I was freezing up during sessions and hesitant. But during these sessions, especially when co-treating with Physical Therapy, I didn't have my supervisor's quick thinking to save me. I found out that I am pretty good at thinking on my feet. This is where the 7 month break that I took between school and internship has become some what of a curse - but I think I am getting past it.
The second thing I learned is time management. When you're with your supervisor, she decides whether or not we have enough time for another client or what time is good to go up to the unit. I didn't really think about these details before, but I had to when I was by myself. I almost got myself into a sticky situation when I had 30 minutes before a module that I had to go to. A typical session with a 3 year old is 30 minutes, so I went to see one of my girls who is super fun, but a challange to impress at times. I didn't take into account time to get ready (she is in isolation) and time to clean. LUCKILY, she was taken to x-ray after 20 minutes, so the timing worked perfectly, but it made me realize everything that I need to think about during the day.
Aside from my independent week (my supervisor will be gone this Friday again!), I have also had a very busy and trying couple of weeks. I had a paper to write and started a two month long webinar. On Sunday my car wouldn't open after work (darn cold). On Monday I found out one of my kiddos was moved from the Oncology Unit to the PICU. And on Saturday I had the opportunity to provide music with my internship partner for a Donate Life ceremony which honors the families of organ donors at CMH in the past year. Needless to say, it has been emotional.
During the End of Life module this past week, we talked about self care. My professors at UE always stressed self care and making sure we use music for ourselves so that we can be 100% for our clients, but this week I took the concept more seriously than ever before. I have been in some emotional situations during practicum at school (uhm, hello, hospice), but being emmersed in a children's hospital 40+ hours a week is a whole different ball park.
Our module leader gave us little art journals and gel pens and taught us one way to journal through art. We were to write an inspirational word in bubble letters, leave the word white, but fill the rest of the page with small patterns.
I have also adapted the concept a bit to start this one...
I guess we will see how long art lasts for me. I usually leave visual art for my grandma, step dad, and sister.
I also had the opportunity to visit the Kauffman Center to see an opera this weekend! My friend from school, who is now a graduate student at UMKC, invited me along because she had free tickets. (SIDE NOTE: The building is georgous! The wood was imported from Australia. I want to perform there.) I was surprised at how eager I was to experience classical music again. It was such a presence in my life during school, so much so that it was almost forced on me. Yet, after graduating and leaving a school where classical music was free and readily available, I have missed it. So much that I agreed to go to a baroque opera. A baroque opera by Handel.......arranged by Mozart....not that I could tell the difference. Needless to say - alcohol was involved (another form of self care...right?).
These different forms of self care that I utilized turned my week around completely. By the weekend I felt confident and balanced. Now that I am four weeks into my internship I am starting to feel the emotional effects of working at a children's hospital. Some of the kids that I have followed from the beginning of my internship and the beginning of their admission are now having ups and downs that I am witnessing. While it is important to maintain boundaries, as a human, emotions play a role in everything, especially when a particularly cute kiddo has a bad week.
The important thing about self care is to always keep it fresh. Maybe what helped you process an emotional week at work won't help you process a rough week at home. Try crafting. If that stresses you out (welcome to my life), try journaling. Or listening to music. Or calling mom. Just make sure you take care of yourself so that you can take care of others.
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